


Boyfriend For The Day

by ProblematicPines



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brother/Brother Incest, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Multi, Older Dipper Pines, Older Mabel Pines, Older Pines Twins, Older Tyrone Pines, Triplets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 15:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17552075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProblematicPines/pseuds/ProblematicPines
Summary: The point is, Mabel’s version of an amazing idea was very, very, VERY different to Dipper’s perception of what an amazing idea was.Tyrone, being himself, was almost always the chaotic neutral.Which led to Mabel proposing the idea that she would hold a competition between the boys to see who would be her boyfriend for the day.





	Boyfriend For The Day

Having twin brothers that were also your boyfriends was a situation Mabel had never thought about finding herself in. Sure, she’d fantasized about being with one (Dipper) or the other (Tyrone) when she was  younger, but had deemed her feelings immoral and vile. Never had she ever thought that it would be her reality.

And now that it was, she couldn’t give two shits what people thought about them. Triplets being in a romantic relationship? That’s one for the history books.

“I wonder if we’d end up on the Pamela Summer Show,” Mabel had commented half-jokingly one time a few weeks into the relationship.

They’d all seen enough episodes of the reality talk show to know that more bad than good would come out of being guests on the show where irregular people had their oddities and scandalous behaviour unabashedly publicized for all to see and judge. Going on there as a trio of siblings that were also necking whenever they got the chance would either make or break the show.

Dipper had been against the idea from the very beginning; even if by some terrifying mistake the three of them were outed as being involved with one another in a way siblings shouldn’t be, there was no way he would let them be laughing stocks for the entire nation, if not the world.

Tyrone had been more or less in the same boat as his brother, but had also jokingly implied that if the three of them went on TV then they would almost certainly have a three-way kiss to show how madly in love they were.

_(Something they had been practicing for a while, by the way - they hadn’t gotten much better at it since they’d started)._

Hearing her brothers going back and forth about serious implications and light-hearted scenarios that would only ever play out in a crappy rom-com had gotten Mabel’s attention; they had been so alike yet different at the same time.

Alike enough to have the same unethical mindset of wanting to bang their sister and each other, but different enough to have opposing viewpoints on reality TV shows.

Mabel couldn’t tell them apart half the time.

Which was what had given her an amazing idea.

Well, amazing ideas came to Mabel all the time.

One such of these “amazing” ideas was creating a very raunchy and very elaborate lingerie piece made from glitter, sequins, feathers and a few jingling bells. Tyrone had found it hilarious when she swaggered into the boys’ shared bedroom, swinging her hips in a comically-bad attempt at being flirtacious and enticing.

Dipper...not so much.

Didn’t stop them from banging though.

The point is, Mabel’s version of an amazing idea was very, very, VERY different to Dipper’s perception of what an amazing idea was.

Tyrone, being himself, was almost always the chaotic neutral.

Which led to Mabel proposing the idea that she would hold a competition between the boys to see who would be her boyfriend for the day.

It would be a competition based upon how well they knew their sister. The boy who answered the most questions correctly would be her designated boyfriend of the day, and the boy who lost would be doomed to a day of seething in jealousy in his bedroom.

But, the catch was that the boys had to try and be as indistinguishable from one another as possible; dressing identically (which wasn’t common for the boys to do), talking identically, and trying to conceal as many of their distinctive mannerisms as possible.

So it was fun for all of them; Dipper and Ty had to vie for their sister’s affection via quiz questions, and Mabel had to decipher ( _shudder_ ) who was who.

Dipper, in his usual cynical fashion, had dropped out almost as soon as she finished her proposition.

He was all like “You can’t pick and choose who your boyfriend is” and “It wouldn’t be fair” and “I was born before Tyrone so I should be the winner by default”.

How order of birth factored into it nobody knew.

But Tyrone had roped Dipper in with a few jeers and reliable chicken sounds.

“Boys will be boys,” Mabel had thought.

\--

Which led them to now: sitting on Mabel’s bed (which was so colourful it was like the saturation of the world had been turned up to max) were the boys, and standing in front of them was Mabel, a clipboard in her arms, a sparkly glitter gel-pen in her hand.

The boys had really gone all out so as to not be easily identifiable.

Even though she’d grown up with the boys for sixteen years, they’d pulled the old-fashioned switcharoo plenty of times on her, and each time she fell for it.

Now, they had dressed in a style that was a mix of the two of their own distinctive fashion senses: baseball caps to conceal Dipper’s bird-nest of hair and Tyrone’s bouncy curls, flannel shirts with the sleeves rolled down to hide Tyrone’s slight curve of baby fat, and torn jeans.

Mabel was honestly taken aback by how uncannily similar the two were when wearing the same outfit and facial expression. Sure, twins were like that, but in this case, it was almost eerie.

“So!” Mabel declared with way too much enthusiasm. “Question One!”

She peered at her clipboard and studied the glittery cursive.

“This is stupid,” one of the boys said, but since Mabel had her head down, she couldn’t tell which Dipper said it. She looked back up with a scowl.

“Loosen up, Dipper,” she said, eyeing them for any reaction to hearing his name being uttered. Neither even blinked.

Mabel reluctantly looked back down.

“Butts,” came a snicker.

Definitely Tyrone being the mood-destroyer he always was.

Regardless, Mabel pressed one.

“Question One...What is my favourite ice cream flavour? Go!”

The boys pondered for a moment, both looking hopeless. Mabel smirked; even a simple question such as this one was giving them a run for their money.

“They’re never gonna get to Question Eighty-Two,” she thought.

Then came two replies from two identical voices from two identical boys.

“Strawberry!”   
“Chocolate!”

Mabel gaped at them, appalled.

“How boring do you two think I am?!” she cried indignantly, faux-hurt by their bland and uninspired responses. “You’ve known me all your lives and you don’t know it’s triple-chocolate fudge with fizzy-candy sprinkles and glitter?!” She held a hand to her heart. “For shame!”

“To be fair-”

One boy began, but the other harshly kicked his leg, signalling him to shut up or he’ll blow their cover. The kicked boy fell silent again.

Disgraced, Mabel swiped at her questionnaire with her gel pen, adding two big “X”’s to the boxes beside the first question.

“Question Two! Which sweater was I wearing yesterday?”

“The pink one with the ribbons on the sleeves!” cried the right twin.

“The blue-y one with the sleepy cat on the front?” the left twin murmured, unsure of himself.

Mabel could have banged their heads together right then.

“NO!” she yelped, her voice at a frequency that made them wince slightly. “It was the orange one with the cactus! Come on guys, please at least try and play along!”

“We are, we are!” one boy said indignantly.

“Well, you’re not trying hard enough!” Mabel responded, folding her arms crossly. One of the boys rolled his eyes, but under the bill of his cap, the motion went unnoticed.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “What’s the next question?” He reached for his glass of water on Mabel’s dresser, taking a long drink.

The sooner they were over with this the better.

Mabel studied her questionnaire.

“Um...Question Three! When did we pop our cherries with each other?”

That was out of a field so far left it was to their right.

The boy on the right choked on his drink and had a comical spit-take all over Mabel’s unsuspecting stuffed animals; the other seemed far too enthusiastic to respond, seemingly unfazed by the abruptly-timed question.

_“Blgg-hh-hh!”_

“May 15th!”

“CORRECT!” Mabel cried, happy that they had gotten at least one question right so far. And happy that they had remembered their awkward but memorable first time. She added a big tick to the box on the left, and a big cross to the box on the right.

“Mabel, you can’t just ask that!” the choked boy cried, wiping his chin on his sleeve while staring at her. Mabel shrugged casually, as if it was totally normal to ask for when she and her brothers first banged as a trio.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, cause you got the question wrong, mister.”

“But I didn’t even get a chance to-”

 _“QUESTION FOUR!”_  Mabel cried over her brother’s objections.

\--

Twenty-four questions, five spit-takes, three laughing fits and two shouting matches later, and Mabel was ready to admit defeat. The other hundred-or-so questions could be left until next time (if there was a next time - this one time was enough for her to never try again).

The boys had been much more clueless about her hobbies, interests and quirks than she had previously thought.

They had both answered several questions correctly, though the majority of them were answered incorrectly (or not answered at all out of cluelessness).

All in all, it ended in a draw of five correctly-answered questions each, and Mabel was still totally blind as to which twin was which.

“This was dumb,” she grumbled, tossing her stationary onto her bean-bag, closely following with a heavy flop.

The boys were tired, but one was a little more chipper than the other.

“So...who gets to be your boyfriend for the day?”

Oh. Yeah.

Mabel had been so caught up in quizzing her brothers that she had almost forgotten why she had even quizzed them in the first place.

“Uh...y-...no, maybe…” Her gaze flicked from boy to boy, trying to work out which one she could have better chances of withstanding when he objected against her choosing the other. She was hopeless.

“What’s the score?”

“Er...a tie,” Mabel admitted gloomily. That made the boy on the left perk up, and a sly, sneaking grin crept onto his face. A bad feeling settled in Mabel’s stomach.

“So...since it was a tie, neither of us won,” he said, still grinning, a hint of smugness to his tone. “But at the same time,” the other boy continued, “neither of us lost either. So that means…” It dawned on him, and he turned to face his twin with an identical smug grin plastered on his face.

“...We’ll just have to be each other’s boyfriend for the day,” the first finished.

Mabel frowned. No. This couldn’t be happening.

“W-Wait, guys, that isn’t how it-” She began.

“Gee, you’re right, twin brother o’ mine,” the second brother agreed, getting to his feet. He held out a hand and helped up his brother, and both sneered down at Mabel.

“I guess we’ll just have to make do with one another.”

“Dip, Ty, stop. This wasn’t-”

“Sorry, stranger. We need to go out and do boyfriend things with each other. Y’ know, which is what boyfriends do.”

“I’m thinking lunch in the park.”   
“Or maybe a stroll in the woods!”   
“Maybe a trip to the mall?”

“Sounds good to me!”

Doubled laughter came from behind Mabel’s closed door as the two left, leaving their sister behind. But instead of chasing after them, Mabel could only focus on one thing.

"You're twins! You have the same face!"

**Author's Note:**

> Super super sorry about the total lack of posting these past couple weeks, everyone! College has been eating up all my time and I haven't had the chance to write any Fics!  
> But I'm gonna try and get into the swing of things a bit more, especially since I have so many Fics I wanna write and share with this community!
> 
> This was written after a brainstorm I had while walking home; there aren't nearly enough Dipper/Ty/Mabel FanFics out there, so I'm gonna make up for it with my own!  
> We love Tri-Pinecest, don't we?
> 
> Please stick around for more Fics if you're interested!  
> As always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


End file.
